… pftt,, ghh,zzppftt

3rd August

 

I know you know that it is an arduous task, I know that you know its like that and not always simple or easy to love me. Do you know that most days my chest cavity is brimming, a field full of white tulips and land mines. There is no manual, margin, recipe or compass that will sustain you, or help that you can call upon. Accept what you see and not what you wish to see. Or don’t. My body doesn’t come with instructions, I know this cannot be easy, and sometimes, most times I drown within my own existence, and I don’t even know what to do with it. 

Sometimes I see the world for what it is – a gigantic blue sponge that is infamous for being rude and so far indestructible, other people must share this perception, some or I guess most love it even although nobody speaks about the reasons for it. The one grain of sand that is different amongst the dunes that can be transparent when called upon. Nobody gives specimens of themselves or divulges the reasons for why they are here, not the real ones. Why they live the lives in manner that they do, how they struggle and despite the adversity, no matter how compromised they might be with canyons for bones, the majority still push on and have a willingness to live. 

I would like to punch them all in the brain.

Why? I cant even float, give an answer, explain. A gag reflex to life. 

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