15th August 2012
Here’s one of the things I learned that morning: I am a repellent. If you watch carefully, cross a line, wait and nothing happens, the line loses meaning. It’s like that old saying about a tree falling in a forest, and whether it makes a sound if there’s no one around to hear it. I would hear it. A vast plain of emptiness, we are all connected.
You keep drawing a line farther and farther away, inching, stumbling, running, searching, crossing it every time. That’s how people end up stepping off the edge of the earth. Trace the boot prints. You’d be surprised at how easy it is to bust out of orbit, to spin out to a place where no one can touch you. To lose yourself – to get lost. A New type of Nirvana.
The body, vessel has changed as time and circumstance brings about age. Differences, scars becoming contenders for a new bodily interwoven structure, paper and inked skin. A gallery or a boxed litany of scars for navigators and alibis, chalked up to experience and a multitude of differences in self, ego etched into each one. This body has become a picture of ones capacity to endure and learn from life.
But Maybe you wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe some of you already know.
To those people -I can only say, eternally I am unworthy – I am sorry.